Game

Some girls have it, some don't. I tend to fall into the realm of the latter. Ever since I can remember, I've relied on a certain level of, well what I believe to be humor to get some one's attention. Looking back, I can remember summers at the Jersey Shore. In fact, I think the younger me could teach Snooki a thing or two. I would set my sights on a lifeguard, and immediately plot a way to get his attention. Surely, once I had his attention the rest would be fall right into place. We would marry, I would birth his especially buoyant children, and we would live a long sea fearing life together. So back to the plan.

More often than not, I would decide to pack my one piece bathing suit (I was probably around 6 years old) with sand. Not just a little sand, but I really packed it in there to the gills, enough to for it to appear that I was about 7 months with child. I would then circle the lifeguard stand. Why I did this, I'm still not sure. Maybe to show him I wasn't like all of those other immature 6 year olds. So, despite the chafing and despite the fact that I'd be finding sand for weeks, I never gave up. I would repeat this exercise daily for our entire beach week. When I got into my awkward teen years I gave up the sand stuffing in favor of a more direct approach.

My friends and I would look at the names carved into the stand and convince ourselves these were the names of our unwilling lovers. So we would make up songs. They weren't even particularly good songs. For example...

"Hey Joe, whatdoya know! Show me what's worth the show!"

Naturally, then we'd then follow the lifeguards home so that later we could stroll by their houses with especially doe eyed expressions, humming a few bars of our siren songs.

I still find myself doing this in a way today. As I'm listening to my iPod, strolling to and from work, I catch myself trying to match my expression or my walk to the music I'm listening to. As if everyone can hear my music by reading my face. And think, "Well that girl has good taste, I should write a missed connection about her." That reminds me, I haven't looked through them today. Here's hoping.